"Just One Ciggie, I Swear”

I haven’t called Auggie at all today. It’s 10pm right now. He rang me once this afternoon to carp about how miserable / lousy / unfocused / disoriented / blur he’s feeling sans nicotine. I displayed little empathy. My lack of empathy was retaliation for the conversation we had last night which went a little something like this:

Auggie: Oh, I feel so crap (whine whine whine)

Me: You feel like crap now but it’ll get better. You just have to get through the first few weeks (broken record)

Auggie: More like first few months, years even!

Me: Don’t be so dramatic. Before you know it, you’ll be glad you made this decision to quit.

Auggie: (ruckus in the background)

Me: What’s all that noise? What are you doing?

Auggie: I’m making a cup of coffee. I’m going to drink coffee and eat the chocolate bar I bought just now, then go to sleep.

Me: Good. Gum, chocolate bar, whatever. Anything to distract you from the craving.

Auggie: (indistinct mumble)

Me: You have a pack of cigarettes with you right now, don’t you?

Auggie: (in small voice) yes.

Me: You were planning on having a smoke after we hung up, weren’t you?

Auggie: (in smaller voice) just one.

Me: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS.

Auggie: I bought it just in case…

Me: JUST IN CASE WHAT?

Auggie: Just in case I couldn’t tahan and needed to smoke!

Me: WHAT YOU MEAN CANNOT TAHAN? IT’S A CHOICE. YOU MAKE THE CHOICE, YOU BREAK IT. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS.

Auggie: I’ll just take one. I swear.

Me: Whatever la. It’s your body, it’s your choice, it’s your health. If you can’t hack it, if you don’t want to do it, then whatever.

Auggi: Okay, okay, I won’t smoke!!!

Me: Whatever.

It's All About The Cleanser

Simple Moisturiser
Originally uploaded by Mizeyeliner.

If my boyfriend only knew … if he knew I was on Accutane, he would absolutely flip. He who thinks I’m the greatest, most beautiful thing to have ever graced the earth is of the opinion that I’m nuts to take drugs for my zits.

As far as he’s concerned, all I need is...“All you need is the right cleanser. Maybe your cleanser and lotion thing in the fancy bottle you use aren’t right for your skin. Why don’t you just change the brand?”

“It’s not that simple. My skin is very complex, you know.”

“You're making it sound worse than it really is. If it really bothers you so much, maybe you shouldn’t eat so much fried stuff or sleep so late then.”

“I haven’t had a plate of char kway teow since they erected the Petronas Twin Towers la, what do you mean I eat fried stuff?”

“Okay, but I really don’t think you need to see the dermatologist or pump your body with drugs! Your doctor should stop prescribing you all this!”

Ah … the naïve, simple words of someone who’s never had a zit in his life. People like him – you know the type: the ones with skin as smooth as a baby’s arse – will never truly understand the anguish of people like me. He thinks antibiotics are evil, so if he knew I was on Accutane (which can deform innocent little fetuses and turn me into a manic depressive), he would go berserk.