November 30, 2006

"Just One Ciggie, I Swear”



I haven’t called Auggie at all today. It’s 10pm right now. He rang me once this afternoon to carp about how miserable / lousy / unfocused / disoriented / blur he’s feeling sans nicotine. I displayed little empathy. My lack of empathy was retaliation for the conversation we had last night which went a little something like this:

Auggie: Oh, I feel so crap (whine whine whine)

Me: You feel like crap now but it’ll get better. You just have to get through the first few weeks (broken record)

Auggie: More like first few months, years even!

Me: Don’t be so dramatic. Before you know it, you’ll be glad you made this decision to quit.

Auggie: (ruckus in the background)

Me: What’s all that noise? What are you doing?

Auggie: I’m making a cup of coffee. I’m going to drink coffee and eat the chocolate bar I bought just now, then go to sleep.

Me: Good. Gum, chocolate bar, whatever. Anything to distract you from the craving.

Auggie: (indistinct mumble)

Me: You have a pack of cigarettes with you right now, don’t you?

Auggie: (in small voice) yes.

Me: You were planning on having a smoke after we hung up, weren’t you?

Auggie: (in smaller voice) just one.

Me: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS.

Auggie: I bought it just in case…

Me: JUST IN CASE WHAT?

Auggie: Just in case I couldn’t tahan and needed to smoke!

Me: WHAT YOU MEAN CANNOT TAHAN? IT’S A CHOICE. YOU MAKE THE CHOICE, YOU BREAK IT. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS.

Auggie: I’ll just take one. I swear.

Me: Whatever la. It’s your body, it’s your choice, it’s your health. If you can’t hack it, if you don’t want to do it, then whatever.

Auggi: Okay, okay, I won’t smoke!!!

Me: Whatever.

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