November 02, 2005

WANT is a Four Letter Word

Originally uploaded by 8pril.
I know what I want, yet I don’t know what I want. I know what I should want. I am perplexed because many a time, what I should want does not coincide with what I truly want.

I am at odds also because there are many reasons why I cannot have what I want - what I want may not be unrealistic, unreasonable and not entirely good for me – in which case, I may have to tweak a little what I want so that what I want becomes what I can have. What is the point of having a list of wants that simply cannot be met?

Therefore, it is necessary to attach another criterion to my list: what I want and can have. Some people may carelessly term it as settling for less. Is it? Maybe. I do not know.

Is it better to hang on to desires that will never be met (and enjoy the enviable reputation of being an idealist, a dreamer, one with remarkably high standards and expectations) or would it be better to trade them for desires that can be met? They would then, by default, become less ideal, less lofty, less perfect.

I might have to contend with wearing the label ‘pragmatist’ – not too awful a predicament but not too grand either.

Is it better to have grand ideals and have everything fall short (because they are next to impossible to meet by anyone or anything) or is it better to have realistic down-to-earth expectations and increase your chances of meeting them? I do not know. An idealist would opt for the former while a pragmatist would go with the latter.

I guess the answer lies in our inherent natures. Perhaps the question is not what I want and what I should want or what I should not want. Perhaps the true question is whether I am ultimately an idealist or a pragmatist; and whatever it is I identify myself to be, am I content being that way?

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